I was expecting what I always expect from gay stories. A lot of tragedy, internalized homophobia being supported through homophobic writing and directing, sexualization, some weird uncomfortable nonsense like Call Me By Your Name. I was EXPECTING this to make me say āokay. time to watch another one to see if this has any better rep.ā Iām not a guy, Iām a bi woman, and I seek out representation as a bi woman. In any way I can. I wish I could see more gl that isnāt so disappointing and sexualized. Anyways, I just like to see aspects of myself explored. And I see that through any gender. I expected this to be stupid, careless at times, but ultimately, decent/useful but soulless representation. I did not fucking expect it to be this. This has to be one of my favorite memories. Watching this show, and realizing⦠Iām heard. And so are so many others like me. Not only just the queerness but the fucking artistic aspect. [spoiler]The prom scene caught me so off guard I cried immediately. [/spoiler]Because it was⦠so fucking perfect. Not them being together, even, but the beautiful mind of Karl. Heās an artist, and they show that lust for art. For writing, especially. As a writer myself, seeing a character have that passion⦠it broke me. Because I love writing and art and expression more than anything in this life. There were so many quotes that cracked me in half. [spoiler]āItās not your faultā (when Karl and Vlad are talking about his coming out), when his uncle is speaking to him (that whole scene. a masterpiece.),[/spoiler] and so many others I canāt remember because I am tired because I binged this whole beautiful world into the early morning. This isnāt just a romance between men, itās what I expect and what I deserve from the whole romance genre. And these writers are writers that deserve to be heard. The quotes at the end of the show were so important. None of this felt exploitative or predatory. Come to find out, the writer is gay himself. You can feel that. [spoiler]The whole talk with Anna at the end, when she explains that he wants to share his art, so why doesnāt he want to hear everyone elseās?[/spoiler] That was magnificent. I love every character. Vladās sister was⦠a lot. But to be honest, sheās an accurate representation of a new āallyā. Everything about this show is growth. Development. Itās methodical and delicate and each small detail adds to the full picture. This is probably the best bl series I have ever seen. I canāt think of things I didnāt like. Besides Vladās sister being creepy at times. But⦠miraculously⦠no weird attempts to appeal to the youth with insanity like misused slang or AAVE or god tiktok dances or some shit. No really weird phone details (though a few editing mistakes), JUST a normal story that felt so personal and special. So far Iāve seen 3 bl kdramas and this is the only one I came away from with the feeling of hope. For a future where I donāt have to worry about dancing with a girl. Itās the only one where I didnāt leave it going āoh, okay. Not bad I guess.ā No, I sobbed. THERE IS TOO MANY GOOD THINGS TO SAY ABOUT THIS SHOW. I will be rewatching it, for sure. God bless the way they combatted the internalized homophobia trope (itās real of course but I hate the way itās shown in most lgbt shows/movies) the internalized homophobia wasnāt romanticized or immediately erased the moment he accepted himself. It all flows so incredibly well. Iām in love with Anna. I loved her story. Sheās also fucking gorgeous but⦠anyways, damn. This is like the second show out of all the thousands I have consumed that has made me burst into writing mode. At least in a good way. I love to criticize tv and movies, but this one has a soul. Every fucking detail⦠perfect. Iām in love with this show. Thank god I made it through all of the grief of life and also life as a queer person to be able to smile at a queer story because it made me feel like I deserve to be who I am. Iām sorry this is long winded. I am just amazed that this gem exists beneath all the shitty queer rep I have forced myself to believe was the best it would get for a long time. Thanks? I donāt know who Iām thanking. I just feel thankful.
Edit: and thank fucking god the actors didnāt act like they were so deeply uncomfortable playing a gay character. Thereās nothing I hate more than seeing how dejected actors will get having to be close to a guy. Their body language gets all stiff but god damn, these brilliant actors just EXISTED as their characters. They have EMPATHY. Youād think it would be a no-brainer but damn itās not something all that common.