The Girl's Guide to Depravity

Lizzie and Sam fight over Lizzie's acceptance of Drew's invitation to have drinks. Sam insists that this will lead to another reconciliation and break-up, and that it's time for Lizzie to end the relationship completely. It turns out that this time Drew just wants Lizzie to have her friend at the DMV fix some parking tickets for him -- he has reconciled with his cheating girlfriend. Sam bumps into Jason and lets it slip that she has a crush on him. Jason is free, since Lulu dumped him, and asks Sam out. As Sam readies for her date, Lizzie phones her to meet her at Drew's place, where they watch as a cop boots Drew's car -- Lizzie's revenge and a farewell to Drew. The girls celebrate at the dive bar, toasting their new rules: no more coercing guys to buy them drinks, no more young guys, no more b**ching, no more unrealized sexpectations, no more married guys, drinking contests or ex-boyfriends. Lizzie sees the Dirty Hot Guy and finally introduces herself; his name is Leo. Then Sam gets a text from Richard. She is torn, but opts for Jason. Lizzie and Leo also hook up for the night. Lizzie and Leo spoon contentedly after some hot sex, but sleeping in Jason's arms panics Sam, who gets up and leaves his place. She texts Lizzie to meet her -- she thinks she has just made a huge mistake...

Sam is angry and distracted, so Lizzie sends her to see Dr. Feelgood. The doctor prescribes something for anxiety and depression, which Sam resents -- she just needs something to help her focus. Lizzie puts her in touch with Pill Pusher Patty, who trades some uppers for Sam's scrip. Sam takes the pills and turns into a model of efficiency. When she runs out of pills, she has Patty meet her at a house party she and Lizzie will be attending. Lizzie's ex, Drew, is at the party, as is Richard. When the girls arrive, Sam ignores Richard and makes a beeline for Patty; once she has her pills, Sam finds Richard, who is quite drunk, and takes him home with her. Lizzie finds Drew, who feels down because his new girlfriend is cheating. Lizzie gloats over this development, which only depresses Drew. He withdraws to a bedroom, which is where Patty finds him and consoles him with sex. Lizzie stumbles on them and realizes she's the only one at the party who didn't hook up. Back at her apartment, Sam manages to get Richard into bed. He passes out, penis erect, thanks to another of Patty's pills.

Lizzie and Sam visit a gay bar with Tyler, and argue about Sam's penchant for unavailable men. Lizzie flirts with gay boy Mark and gets drunk; he takes her home and has sex with her. Lizzie tells Sam of the encounter and the two friends ponder how to tell if a guy is straight or gay. Sam is curious about Devon, a cute new co-worker, but picks up mixed clues to his orientation from his conversation, computer search history, and behavior. They host a launch party at a tattoo parlor for b**chy client, Fiona's, photo book. Sam invites Tyler to see if he can get a read on Devon, but even Tyler is stymied. Tyler is delighted with the b**chy Fiona, though, and surprises Lizzie and Sam by having sex with her in a back room. At the party's end, Sam flat-out asks Devon if he's straight or gay. He suggests she check his relationship status, which leaves the matter unsettled: Devon is involved with "Chris." Lizzie finally gets an answer to her questions about Mark when she discovers that he is actually straight, and masquerades as gay to get women. Sam resigns herself to never being sure about Devon. Both women are confused by Tyler, who says that despite having had sex with Fiona, he's absolutely sure he's one hundred percent gay.

Sam and Danny have daytime sex, which alarms Lizzie -- Sam's falling for her f**k buddy, a violation of one of the top ten rules. Kaylie dates her new f**k buddy and doesn't find it a problem; Sam wonders if she can pull off the same trick. Her co-worker, Kate, thinks casual sex is folly and tells Sam so, but when her boyfriend dumps Kate, Sam sees the wisdom of remaining uninvolved. Despite her good intentions, Sam accepts Danny's impromptu invitation to the movies and afterwards, to grab a bite to eat. She invites him back to her place, but he declines. Lizzie tells her she had it coming for breaking the rules. Then Danny calls and invites Sam for drinks. He tells her that he has to keep his dating life and his sex life separate, and breaks up with her. Sam drowns her sorrows in a pint of ice cream. The sounds of Kaylie and Jordan having energetic role-playing sex as "Trinity" and "Neo" drives her from her apartment and into the dive bar. Lizzie tells her that horniness is the price she must pay for breaking the f**k buddy rule. Lizzie and Tyler get so hot thinking about Trinity and Neo that they rush out to a fetish joint, leaving Sam alone yet again.

Lizzie and Sam are at the dive bar when the bitchy Mariposa sidles up beside them and intimidates Jason into buying her a drink. Afterwards, Lizzie and Sam overhear Mariposa on the phone and realize that Latin spitfire is just an assumed persona for Mildred, an ordinary girl who has learned how to channel her inner b**ch to get what she wants. The three women chat over coffee. Lizzie and Mariposa are both attracted to the same cute Waiter, and a challenge goes out – let the biggest b**ch win. Sam channels her inner b**ch with bike messenger Ryan and gets him to go home with her. They have wild, primal sex, but his interest fades in the morning when Sam inadvertently reverts to her nice girl self. Lizzie and Mariposa compete for the Waiter, but Lizzie can’t beat the master and Mariposa waltzes away with the prize. Later, a the dive bar, a Voluptuous Woman b**chily refuses to say where she bought her dress, so Lizzie cuts the label out of her garment. The dress is from a plus size shop - the Woman was embarrassed about shopping there. Lizzie feels guilty about her brazen behavior and apologizes. Sam goes home, and a deflated Lizzie stays at the dive bar. The Dirty Hot Guy sits down next to her, offers companionable silence, and buys her a drink.

Richard cancels a date with Sam, who complains to Lizzie that she's tired of the game men and women play with one another. Lizzie suggests they find a place where the guys don't know the rules, and settles on a Mexican place on college night. The girls pick up Stevie and Len, business/finance majors, and go back to their place. Lizzie and Len have sex, but Stevie is so excited he comes before Sam can even get him undressed. In the morning, the girls discover that Len and Stevie are both just barely legal and living at home -- they graduated from the "University" prep school. Meanwhile, Jason is romancing Nicole, a marine botanist who picked him up with a candid line at the farmers' market. Thanks to Lizzie, he has some doubts about her sincerity, but Nicole's directness wins him over. He goes out with her and they end the night with an energetic sexual workout. In the morning, Nicole leaves, promising to call Jason. A few days later, he bumps into Lizzie and Sam at the farmers' market. They see Nicole using the same "candid" line on another guy, and Jason realizes that Lizzie was right -- fake sincerity is Nicole's game. Jason and the girls adjourn to a nearby joint to drown their sorrows.

Best friends Lizzie and Sam share a drink at their neighborhood dive bar. Sam is nervous: it's her third date with nice guy, Brad. And everyone knows about the the third date -- the sex date. Lizzie scolds her for not having had sex already, which is a violation of the rules passed down to them by their recently married friend, Sienna. Sam acts on Lizzie's advice and seduces Brad, only to have him dump her immediately after their encounter when his girlfriend texts him that she wants him back. Lizzie insists that Sam "get underneath another man" right away, and the two friends go prowling at an upscale club. Lizzie focuses on getting someone to buy them top-shelf drinks, while Sam makes the acquaintance of Jason, who turns out to be Lizzie's new co-worker. Lizzie breaks it up, saying that Jason is too clingy and moves on to her own quest -- the sexy, casually dressed guy sitting at the bar, reading a book. Lizzie's initial encounter with this man she dubs "Dirty Hot Guy" begins hot and flirty but ends in mutual insults. And when -- adding insult to injury -- her ex, Drew, comes in with another girl, Lizzie is determined not to let it get to her. She and Sam cruise a jiu-jitsu studio, but get little more than hot and sweaty. Afterwards, Lizzie encounters the Dirty Hot Guy in the dive bar and takes him home for sex. Sam learns that her current major crush, Richard, will be at the R Bar; she and Lizzie make a beeline for the place, hoping for a "chance" encounter.