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My Wife and Kids

 (2000)

Streaming Episode Guide

Season 5
6.9
| Season 4
7
| Season 3
7.1
| Season 2
7.2
| Season 1
7.1
| Top 5 Episodes
Show Page
Season5
Season 5  
6.9
The "V" Story
Episode 26 - 5-17-2005
28m
Jay asks Michael to get a vasectomy, but he says no. Eventually he tells Jay that he will go through with it, but then backs out at the last second. Jay says that she will instead get a hysterectomy. After she comes out of the clinic, Michael tells her that he will get the vasectomy, but she then reveals that she is pregnant.
 6.8/10
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The V Story
R.V. Dreams
Episode 25 - 5-17-2005
22m
Michael buys an R.V. and the family heads to the Grand Canyon for a vacation.
 7.1/10
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RV Dreams
Michael Sells the Business
Episode 24 - 5-10-2005
22m
Michael sells his trucking business to spend more time with Jay and Junior Junior.
 6.5/10
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Michael Sells the Business
Graduation Day
Episode 23 - 5-03-2005
21m
Jay is ready to graduate from college, but a series of events ruin her appearance.
 7.1/10
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Graduation Day
Michael's Sandwich
Episode 22 - 4-26-2005
21m
Michael tries to leave for a golfing trip with a friend, but the family keeps distracting him.
 6.8/10
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Michaels Sandwich
Jr.'s Cartoon
Episode 21 - 4-12-2005
22m
When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled ""My Wife and Kid"" -- based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family -- it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some ""umph"" into their relationship.
 6.5/10
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Jrs Cartoon
Celibacy
Episode 20 - 3-29-2005
22m
When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.
 6.7/10
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Celibacy
Michael Joins a Gym
Episode 19 - 3-15-2005
22m
The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.
 8.1/10
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Michael Joins a Gym
The Remodel
Episode 18 - 3-08-2005
22m
Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin -- who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.
 6.9/10
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The Remodel
The Bahamas (2)
Episode 17 - 3-01-2005
28m
While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier) -- who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi, who has stolen one of Franklin's theories.
 7/10
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The Bahamas 2
The Bahamas (1)
Episode 16 - 2-22-2005
22m
When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier), shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.
 6.7/10
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The Bahamas 1
Silence is Golden
Episode 15 - 2-15-2005
22m
Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.
 6.9/10
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Silence is Golden
Sweetheart's Day
Episode 14 - 2-08-2005
22m
When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for ""Sweetheart's Day,"" a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow the lead, but the only lead is straight to trouble.
 6.5/10
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Sweethearts Day
Study Buddy
Episode 13 - 2-01-2005
22m
Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more ""brainy.""
 6.8/10
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Study Buddy
They Call Me El Foosay
Episode 12 - 1-25-2005
22m
When Vanessa innocently buys Jr. a foosball game, Jr. discovers his competitive nature and becomes obnoxious when he wins. When Michael challenges Jr. and wins, he initially wants to teach his son a lesson about being a good winner. But then when Michael continues to win, his ""fatherly lesson"" goes out the window and instead he becomes obsessed with playing foosball. Desperate, the Kyles have to come up with a plan to break the game's hold on Michael.
 7/10
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They Call Me El Foosay
Careful What You Wish For
Episode 11 - 1-18-2005
22m
When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.
 6.6/10
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Careful What You Wish For
The Wedding
Episode 10 - 1-11-2005
22m
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.
 6.7/10
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The Wedding
The Return of Bobby Shaw
Episode 9 - 11-30-2004
22m
Micheal's enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Micheal tries to get him out of the contract,they end up in a dance off.
 6.6/10
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The Return of Bobby Shaw
Restaurant Wars
Episode 8 - 11-23-2004
21m
At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put ""Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen"" out of business.
 7.1/10
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Restaurant Wars
The Proposal
Episode 7 - 11-16-2004
30m
Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay -- who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke competition.
 6.8/10
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The Proposal
Poker Face
Episode 6 - 11-09-2004
22m
Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.
 6.7/10
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Poker Face
The Fellowship of the Baby
Episode 5 - 10-19-2004
22m
When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that ""Jr., Jr."" is a ""magic baby,"" and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.
 7.1/10
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The Fellowship of the Baby
Class Reunion
Episode 4 - 10-12-2004
22m
Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.
 7.2/10
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Class Reunion
Childcare Class
Episode 3 - 10-05-2004
22m
Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.
 6.4/10
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Childcare Class
Fantasy Camp (2)
Episode 2 - 9-28-2004
21m
Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.
 7.2/10
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Fantasy Camp 2
Fantasy Camp (1)
Episode 1 - 9-21-2004
22m
Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.
 6.9/10
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Fantasy Camp 1
Season4
Season 4  
7
The Baby (2)
Episode 30 - 5-26-2004
21m
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.
 7.1/10
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The Baby 2
The Baby (1)
Episode 29 - 5-26-2004
22m
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.
 7/10
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The Baby 1
What Do You Know?
Episode 28 - 5-19-2004
22m
The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.
 7.2/10
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What Do You Know
Hand Model
Episode 27 - 5-12-2004
22m
In a twist of fate, Michael is recruited as a hand model during Claire's modeling audition. As he flaunts his newfound fame, he is careful to protect the family's new financial asset – his hands. Meanwhile Franklin feels threatened by Kady's friendship with Rachel, so, on Jr.'s advice, he takes matters into his own hands.
 6.8/10
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Hand Model
The Maid
Episode 26 - 5-05-2004
22m
While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and want to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.
 8.1/10
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The Maid
The Director
Episode 25 - 3-10-2004
22m
In his excitement to tape a basketball game, Michael accidentally records over a home video of Kady's first steps, which happens to be one of Jay's most cherished family moments. When Jay decides to have a family home movie night, Michael must act quickly and enlists Franklin's help to reenact that moment of Kyle family history.
 7.1/10
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The Director
Romantic Night
Episode 24 - 3-03-2004
22m
Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other – but can't find the key – and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.
 6.8/10
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Romantic Night
Calvin Goes to Work
Episode 23 - 2-25-2004
21m
When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.
 7/10
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Calvin Goes to Work
Calvin Comes to Stay
Episode 22 - 2-18-2004
20m
Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.
 7.1/10
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Empty Nest (2)
Episode 21 - 2-11-2004
22m
During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
 6.5/10
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Empty Nest 2
Empty Nest (1)
Episode 20 - 2-04-2004
22m
During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.
 6.3/10
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Empty Nest 1
Outbreak Monkey
Episode 19 - 1-28-2004
22m
When an ecstatic Michael scores a ticket to see basketball star LeBron James play at Madison Square Garden, his excitement quickly turns to paranoia when, just days before the game, everyone in the Kyle household – except Michael – comes down with the flu. To ensure that he won't miss the game, he goes to absurd extremes to keep from getting sick, including spraying disinfectant on his family and using a ten-foot grabber to hand Jay her orange juice.
 7/10
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Outbreak Monkey
Illegal Smile
Episode 18 - 1-21-2004
22m
The day after an anti-wrinkle injection goes awry for Michael and he ends up with an unnatural expression, he has to fight a traffic ticket in court. The judge is angered by his frozen grin and sentences him to a night in jail, where Michael's cell mate, Big Guy, thinks Michael is coming on to him since he keeps smiling at him.
 6.7/10
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Illegal Smile
The Anniversary Present
Episode 17 - 1-14-2004
22m
Michael and Jay try to hide their disappointment when they don't receive the wedding anniversary gifts each are expecting from each other. Meanwhile, with Franklin's help, novice cook Claire hopes to prepare a gourmet dinner for her parents' anniversary present.
 7.2/10
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The Anniversary Present
Jr. Sells His Car
Episode 16 - 1-07-2004
21m
Jr. restores his prized 1964 Impala, but then he and Vanessa surprise everyone when they decide to sell it in order to have money for their new baby. Meanwhile, Franklin seeks advice from Michael on how to act more like a normal kid.
 7.1/10
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Jr Sells His Car
Candy Wars
Episode 15 - 12-31-2003
22m
When Kady wants to spend some quality time with her father, she enlists Michael's help in the school candy drive. But when the father of last year's winner claims he can prevail once again, a competitive Michael loses sight of helping Kady and commits to selling an exorbitant number of chocolate bars.
 6.9/10
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Candy Wars
Moving on Out
Episode 14 - 12-24-2003
22m
Tired of living in the garage, Jr. looks for an apartment and enlists his buddy, John, to be a co-signer… except that John has to dress up and pose as Jr.'s grandmother for the realtor. When Jr. and Vanessa's families come to visit the couple's new apartment, Jay is shocked to find that her new grandchild might be living in a run-down building with yellow police tape around the entrance.
 7.1/10
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Moving on Out
Of Mice and Man
Episode 13 - 12-17-2003
22m
When Jay finds mouse droppings, she demands that Michael hire an exterminator to get rid of them, but, as usual, Michael is determined to handle it himself. Meanwhile, Claire is also freaked out by a rodent when she accidentally runs over a squirrel while driving home.
 7/10
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Of Mice and Man
The Lady is Not a Tramp
Episode 12 - 12-10-2003
22m
Michael's imagination takes off when he finds a package of condoms in daughter Claire's backpack — the same day her boyfriend, Tony, is returning from a month in the desert. Annoyed that her father is jumping to conclusions, Claire decides to give him a taste of his own unique brand of discipline. Meanwhile Jr. accidentally gives Kady his pet dog's medicine — and Kady pretends to turn into a dog.
 6.8/10
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The Lady is Not a Tramp
Michael's Band
Episode 11 - 11-26-2003
22m
When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny ""Saxophone"" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.
 6.9/10
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Michaels Band
While Out
Episode 10 - 11-26-2003
22m
Much to Claire's delight, Michael and Jay forget to recite their house rules — ""No friends, no fires, no freedom, no fun"" — before going out for the night. As a result, Claire decides to throw a party so she can get in with the so-called right crowd. Things get raucous when someone spikes the punch and a drunken Tony fulfills a fantasy and streaks down the street naked.
 7.2/10
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While Out
Marathon
Episode 9 - 11-19-2003
22m
The Kyles and Vanessa's parents escort her to her first ultrasound. When asked if they wanted to know the baby's sex, Michael is the only one who stands out with a positive answer. Obsessed with knowing whether he's having a grandson or a granddaughter, he tries by all means to have the doctor tell him. He finally assumes it's a boy, and tells Jay and eventually the rest of the family. But in the end the situation reverses as they all confirm with the doctor the real sex of the future Kyle and leave Michael out in the rain. Meanwhile, Franklyn freaks out with the idea of losing Kady to ""Smilin' Willie"" and tries to learn how to be a dance master.
 7.3/10
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Marathon
Ultrasound
Episode 8 - 11-12-2003
22m
When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he too can run the marathon - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress ""ugly"" so he won't feel so turned on.
 7.1/10
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Ultrasound
The Funeral
Episode 7 - 11-05-2003
22m
The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his ""Grammy"" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.
 6.4/10
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The Funeral
He's Having a Baby
Episode 6 - 10-29-2003
22m
Worried about Junior's fathering skills, Michael decides to enroll him in a parenting course. Junior is reluctant to attend, so Michael gives him a water balloon that Junior should keep for a week as if it was the baby. If it breaks, he'll have to attend the course. Michael doesn't let Junior have it easy, and Junior insists that more than wanting to teach him how to be a good parent, Michael doesn't have any trust in him.
 7.1/10
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Hes Having a Baby
Meet the Parents
Episode 5 - 10-22-2003
22m
Vanessa's parents come over the Kyles house to discuss the future baby's situation. Michael is outraged with the demands from the Scotts, but Calvin's size makes Michael think twice before taking any drastic measures. They take the Scotts out for dinner and are left with the bill. Realizing they have a couple of con artists on their hands, Michael and Jay stand up for themselves and set the baby's true needs – which don't include a new house for the Scotts as Calvin wanted.
 7.2/10
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Meet the Parents
Jay Goes to School
Episode 4 - 10-15-2003
22m
Jay decides to go to college and get her psychology degree, which Michael fully reprehends her for. He doesn't want her to put the household in second because it would jeopardize the entire family and eventually could ruin their marriage. After going to a real psychologist, Michael and Jay come to terms and she agrees to scale back her classes as he decides to let her pursue her dream. Meanwhile, Junior's friends turn his old crib into some sort of vehicle.
 6.7/10
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Jay Goes to School
Jr. Executive
Episode 3 - 10-08-2003
22m
Michael wants Jr. to learn the family business by starting at the bottom, so he assigns Jr. to do menial jobs around Kyle Trucking. Jr., however, decides to use the fact that he's the boss' son to his advantage and convinces other employees to do his work for him. Meanwhile, Claire arranges a secret date with a guy she met on the Internet in a Shakespeare chat room.
 7/10
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Jr Executive
The Sweet Hairafter
Episode 2 - 10-01-2003
22m
Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some ""miracle"" pills called ""Come Hair Now"". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.
 7.1/10
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The Sweet Hairafter
From Dummy to Daddy
Episode 1 - 9-24-2003
21m
After hearing the shocking news that their son Junior is going to become a father, Michael and Jay freak out. They try to talk with him and help him realize he can't support a family living in their garage and having no job, so Michael offers him a job at his firm. Due to Michael's teasing with the boy, he gets late for his first day and Michael fires him after his second tardiness. But seeing that his son needs all the help he can get, Michael gives him another chance. Meanwhile, Tony feels guilty about having spicy thoughts about Claire and Franklyn is still out for Junior's spot on the Kyle family.
 6.8/10
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From Dummy to Daddy
Season3
Season 3  
7.1
Graduation (2)
Episode 27 - 5-21-2003
21m
Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift – and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen. He's decided not to go to Japan anymore. Vanessa is pregnant.
 7.5/10
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Graduation 2
Graduation (1)
Episode 26 - 5-21-2003
21m
Jr.'s graduation is coming up, and he breaks the news to his family that he wants to go to college. At first shocked, Michael decides to help him make a good interview, but his anxiety and lack of good sense makes him look like a complete moron. He even tries to bride the interviewer, when he's finally asked to leave Jr. alone. The kid does reasonably good. A few days later a letter arrives at the Kyles, saying that Jr. got accepted but has to take summer school classes. Meanwhile, Clare wears a blond wig to call her parents attention, thinking she has been forgotten now that Jr. is on the spot. And Franklin applies to the soon available son spot on the Kyle family.
 7.1/10
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Graduation 1
Not So Hostile Takeover
Episode 25 - 5-14-2003
22m
Claire comes home with the exciting news that she was invited to senior prom. Jay is excited about it and volunteers to chaperone at the dance, in order to keep Claire safe from her date, a senior quarterback. But Jay's exaggerated excitement makes Claire feel uncomfortable, especially when her parents are crowned queen and king of the prom. Michael tells Claire that she shouldn't be upset about it because Jay never attended her own prom as she was giving birth to Junior that night, and so Claire lets her mom enjoy her moment. Meanwhile, Junior falls into another one of Michael's plans once he tries to teach the kid a lesson about money management and ends up turning his car the exact opposite of Junior's plans.
 6.9/10
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Not So Hostile Takeover
The Big Bang Theory
Episode 24 - 5-07-2003
22m
Michael and Jay panic when Claire reveals that she and Tony have decided to have sex. Her parents try by all means to change their minds and stop them, unsuccessfully. When the day and time comes, their find out Claire has sneaked out of the house and panic. Claire and Tony show up a few minutes later, and just when Michael is ready to kill him, Tony reveals that they didn't do anything. Just when they were about to do it, he opened the drawer on the hotel room's nightstand and found a bible, which he took as a sign from God. But he doesn't have to know that every hotel has a bible.
 6.6/10
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The Big Bang Theory
Tee for Too Many
Episode 23 - 4-30-2003
22m
Jay decides to spend more quality time with Michael - by watching him play golf. Meanwhile, Jr., who only wants to go to college because Vanessa's going, asks Franklin for help with the application essay.
 6.9/10
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Tee for Too Many
Sharon's Picture
Episode 22 - 4-09-2003
22m
Jay gets mad at Michael after finding a photo of an attractive former girlfriend among his things. Franklin has trouble admitting that his little sister Aretha is an outstanding singer.
 6.8/10
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Sharons Picture
Claire's Permit
Episode 21 - 3-26-2003
22m
Claire has taken her driving permit, but Michael won't lend her the car because he doesn't think she can drive very well. Nevertheless, Claire steals the car keys thinking if she goes out really quick while her parents are gone they will never notice. Unfortunately, she drives by them on her way to meet her friends, and Michael decides to teach her a lesson on the Michael Kyle style: stealing the car and making Clare feel guilty about it. She goes to Junior for help, and they call the police reporting the stolen car. Michael ends up in jail due to the mixup, but he and Clare end up getting along after everything is cleared up.
 7/10
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Claires Permit
Here Come Da Judge
Episode 20 - 3-05-2003
21m
When Jr and Claire find a lost wallet containing $500, it's time for a session of ""family court"" to decide who gets the money. Meanwhile, Claire's boyfriend Tony induces her to become a vegetarian.
 7.1/10
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Here Come Da Judge
Jury Duty
Episode 19 - 2-26-2003
22m
Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the ""Godfather"" marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote in guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael ends up missing the marathon, and has to rent the videos to catch up with the movie. At the video store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case. The case ends up being dismissed before they can vote, and Jay is disappointed that Michael wouldn't back her up but has her revenge when Michael acts like a fool.
 7.1/10
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Jury Duty
Jr's Risky Business (2)
Episode 18 - 2-12-2003
22m
After walking in on Jr. and his girlfriend having sex on his bed, Michael decides that he and Junior can no longer live under the same roof and throws his son out. Feeling sympathetic for her baby, Jay opposes to Michael's attitude, but at the same time agrees the boy needs a severe punishment. She had Jr. stay on a tent in the backyard until she can cool things down with Michael, who only realizes he might be estranging his son for good after Vanessa has a woman-to-woman talk with Jay. Michael lets Jr. move back, remembering that he once was in the same position as Jr.
 7.1/10
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Jrs Risky Business 2
Jr's Risky Business (1)
Episode 17 - 2-05-2003
22m
As a very impressed Michael sees it, his son's girlfriend, Vanessa is an absolute prize: ""She's beautiful, smart, personable and polite... you guys have nothing in common,"" he tells Jr. But there's something about her that rubs Jay the wrong way. Elsewhere in the courtship department, Kady's similarly smart and personable gentleman caller is a budding piano prodigy named Franklin. As for Claire, all she's courting is a severe case of nerves: the PSATs are coming up and her face has broken out in hives.
 7.2/10
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Jrs Risky Business 1
Man of the Year
Episode 16 - 1-29-2003
22m
Jay nominates Michael for the ""Small Businessman of the Year"" award and he assumes he's going to win it (especially after a golfing buddy on the organization's board tells him: ""If my vote were the only one that counted, you'd be a shoo-in""). Meanwhile, Claire helps herself to items from Jay's makeup bag once too often.
 7.1/10
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Man of the Year
Blackout
Episode 15 - 1-22-2003
21m
Michael wants some time alone in the house and makes a deal with Jay for her and the kids to get out of the house. But of course it doesn't come as easy as he hoped. He has to pay for Claire to agree on going to the mall and is forced to watch The Little Mermaid with Kady for the hundredth time. He switches the movie to Gremlins, which scares the death out of the poor girl, and when the power goes off Claire freaks out about losing her entire work on the computer. In the end, the power failure ends up bringing the Kyles closer together.
 7.3/10
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Blackout
Michael's Tribe
Episode 14 - 12-18-2002
22m
Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and ""the new Tony"" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a ""rave.""
 6.9/10
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Michaels Tribe
Open Your Heart
Episode 13 - 12-11-2002
22m
Jay decides to attend a ""Open Your Heart"" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is ""prevention"", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making he wear the clothes he wanted refund.
 7/10
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Open Your Heart
Chair Man of the Board
Episode 12 - 12-04-2002
22m
Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy shows in on a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Tommy decides to take advantage of that until they have a talk in which Tommy asks Michael to treat him like he used to, because despite the wheelchair he's the same guy that used to race Michael for anything. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers on her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it. The punishment? She will no longer be treated like a baby.
 7.4/10
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Chair Man of the Board
Jay the Artist
Episode 11 - 11-27-2002
22m
Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit "diminished". Michael renews acquaintances with his old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities aswell. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano and Junior writes some bizarre poetry
 7.2/10
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Jay the Artist
Jr's Dating Dilemma
Episode 10 - 11-20-2002
22m
Michael's advice about women backfires when Jr. ends up with two dates to a dance. Plus, Jay dreams Michael is having an affair with Janet Jackson.
 7.5/10
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Jrs Dating Dilemma
Sister Story
Episode 9 - 11-13-2002
22m
Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. This time is no different and it sparks a rivalry.
 7/10
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Sister Story
The Fighting Kyles
Episode 8 - 11-06-2002
22m
Sick and tired of listening to their kids fights, Michael and Janet act like they are fighting themselves so Jr. and Claire can see how annoying it is and quit it.
 7.3/10
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The Fighting Kyles
Crouching Mother, Hidden Father
Episode 7 - 10-30-2002
22m
Jay volunteered to be the director for Kady's kindergarten class play, but due to illness she is forced to step away from the production, leaving Michael to fill the void; he allows the kids to do whatever they want.
 7.3/10
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Crouching Mother Hidden Father
Claire's New Boyfriend
Episode 6 - 10-23-2002
22m
Claire drops Tony for zip-code boy 1040-EZ, because her father displayed a liking for Tony.Jr. draws his mother's portrait.
 7.3/10
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Claires New Boyfriend
Diary of a Mad Teen
Episode 5 - 10-16-2002
22m
While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and learns that her daughter is thinking about becoming sexually active. Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight; he asks Junior to drive and Michael reprimands him for his poor driving skills.
 6.9/10
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Diary of a Mad Teen
Samba Story
Episode 4 - 10-09-2002
22m
Michael and Janet try to spice up their date nights by taking samba lessons, but their instructors arouse jealousy.
 6.8/10
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Samba Story
The Kyles Go to Hawaii (3)
Episode 3 - 10-02-2002
22m
A mad scramble ensues when Michael finds out that the family's flight home from Hawaii leaves much earlier than he thought, but matters are complicated when a love-smitten Jr. insists on staying with his new love, Leilani. Meanwhile Kady refuses to leave without her beloved doll, Little Pippy, and Claire has to go to extremes to keep her parents from finding out about her exorbitant hotel charges.
 7.3/10
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The Kyles Go to Hawaii 3
The Kyles Go to Hawaii (2)
Episode 2 - 9-25-2002
22m
Finally in Hawaii, Michael and Janet decide to go out on a romantic dinner, leaving their kids all alone. Claire and Jr. fight over who'll have to stay in the room babysitting for Kady, but Claire lets her brother get out of the duty, after all it's not often he gets a date. Jr. has a memorable night on the beach with Leilani, a native girl. Michael and Janet are pursued by two attractive strangers; Claire goes on a shopping spree.
 7.3/10
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The Kyles Go to Hawaii 2
The Kyles Go to Hawaii (1)
Episode 1 - 9-25-2002
22m
The Kyles are leaving for their family vacation on Hawaii, but instead of taking only one flight straight to the island, Michael books a 43-hour flight to Hawaii with several layovers in order to save money. Plus, Michael chastises Janet for packing too many clothes.
 7.5/10
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The Kyles Go to Hawaii 1
Season2
Season 2  
7.2
Anniversary (2)
Episode 29 - 5-22-2002
21m
The anniversary day finally comes and Michael goes out to play golf, leaving Jay devastated at home. Later, she goes out for drinks with her girlfriend Wanda, who insists Jay should confront Michael. Michael pulls off a lavish ceremony for the renewal of their vows. Guest stars Brian McKnight.
 7.3/10
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Anniversary 2
Anniversary (1)
Episode 28 - 5-22-2002
21m
Michael and Janet's 15th anniversary is approaching. Jay's friend Wanda brings her Brian McKnight's tickets (a concert Jay was really looking forward to see), but unfortunately she has to turn it down because it's on the same night as their anniversary.
 7.1/10
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Anniversary 1
Jr. Gets His License
Episode 27 - 5-15-2002
22m
Michael is stopped by a cop while giving Junior a driving lesson and it seems that Michael's license has expired. So father and son must both take driving tests. Junior gets his license and buys an old clunker instead of what Michael chooses for him.
 7.3/10
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Jr Gets His License
The Bowling Show
Episode 26 - 5-08-2002
20m
The Kyles face the Tylers in a game of bowling during Star Trek night. The Tyler's daughter tries to charm Junior into throwing the ball and not caring; Junior develops a crush on her.
 7.4/10
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The Bowling Show
Make Over
Episode 25 - 5-01-2002
22m
Jay gets a makeover after being compared to an old flame from high school. Meanwhile, Junior gets himself locked in a girl's locker after a misfortunate attempt to steal her bra.
 6.9/10
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Make Over
Back Story
Episode 24 - 4-03-2002
22m
When the kids tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim.
 7/10
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Back Story
Jr. Kyle, Boy Genius
Episode 23 - 3-27-2002
22m
Janet and Michael are astounded when their often dim-witted son shines on an IQ test, ranking him as a genius. Junior thinks he got a 1600/1600 on his SAT's but gets it confused with a girl named Michelle Kyle. Junior got a 200/1600, even though you get 300 for spelling your name right.
 7.1/10
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Jr Kyle Boy Genius
Working Relationship
Episode 22 - 3-20-2002
22m
Jay badgers Michael into giving her a job, where she soon begins to get ideas above her station. Michael discovers that Janet's personality is not a good fit for his office, and Kady reenacts a memorable scene from `E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial'.
 6.5/10
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Working Relationship
Return of the Wall
Episode 21 - 3-04-2002
22m
Competitive Janet and easygoing Michael use contrasting methods to coach Kady's soccer team. Michael takes over the coaching of Jay's girls soccer team only to find his opponents are Jay's new team.
 6.5/10
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Return of the Wall
Papa Said Knock You Out
Episode 20 - 2-27-2002
21m
Junior asks his dad to teach him how to box so he can protect his sister's honor; Junior knocks out his dad in boxing on a lucky shot.
 7/10
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Papa Said Knock You Out
Failure to Communicate
Episode 19 - 2-22-2002
22m
A huge argument arises when Michael's mother and father, who have not spoken to each other in years, visit the Kyle household. Note: This episode was originally intended to air in season one, but for unknown reasons, ABC pulled back to season 2 Episode 19. Which is why Jazz Raycole portrays Claire, making this episode her very final appearance in the series.
 6.7/10
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Failure to Communicate
Double Date
Episode 18 - 2-13-2002
22m
Michael agrees to let Claire go on her first date with Tony, but only on condition that it is a double date with Janet and himself.
 7.2/10
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Double Date
Table for Too Many (2)
Episode 17 - 2-06-2002
22m
The family goes out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. Once there, the Kyles must share a table with an incredibly annoying family, the Tylers. Michael feels like he's being ripped off at every turn; things get out of control between the two families and even the restaurant employees. The two families have been enemies ever since.
 7.8/10
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Table for Too Many 2
Table for Too Many (1)
Episode 16 - 2-06-2002
22m
Michael, who dislikes going out to dinner because it's always an overpriced ordeal, allows Janet to convince him to take the family to a Japanese restaurant.
 7.6/10
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Table for Too Many 1
Road Trip
Episode 15 - 1-30-2002
22m
The family goes on an unpleasant road trip to Paul Revere's house, to find it closed.
 6.9/10
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Road Trip
Get Out
Episode 14 - 1-23-2002
21m
Chaos erupts when Michael tries to get his always-tardy family dressed and out the door to a wedding within just 15 minutes.
 7.6/10
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Get Out
Quality Time
Episode 13 - 1-16-2002
22m
Marriage counselors back Michael's belief that he's entitled to some time alone after spending time with Janet, much to her dismay.
 7.1/10
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Quality Time
Learning to Earn It
Episode 12 - 12-12-2001
22m
Michael is thrilled when the children start their own businesses after squandering their allowances in one day.
 7.2/10
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Learning to Earn It
Letting Go
Episode 11 - 11-28-2001
22m
Kady has acquired a hamster and Claire has a crush on a boy named Tony. Both developments pose parental challenges for Michael and Jay. The hamster dies. And Michael wishes Claire's new beau would follow suit.
 7.4/10
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Letting Go
The Whole World is Watching
Episode 10 - 11-21-2001
21m
Michael and Janet's romantic overtures are seen on the Internet after Jr. gets new computer equipment that includes a 24-hour web cam.
 7.4/10
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The Whole World is Watching
Jay Gets Fired
Episode 9 - 11-14-2001
23m
Jay's in for a surprise when she takes Claire and Kady to her office on Take Your Daughters to Work Day: She gets fired. After a bad business decision costs Jay her job and her self-esteem, she becomes a homemaker.
 6.9/10
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Jay Gets Fired
Let Them Eat Pie
Episode 8 - 11-07-2001
22m
Claire, playing a dare game with Jr. and Kady, eats Michael's piece of pie. Michael's punishment: Let them eat pie (and only pie). Meanwhile, Michael offers to be the dieting Jay's "chubby buddy": He'll eat the same lo-cal food she does. Of course, he doesn't tell her that he plans to cheat.
 7.3/10
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Let Them Eat Pie
He Heard, She Heard
Episode 7 - 10-31-2001
21m
Michael looks to teach Claire a lesson after she sneaks out of the house and uses Kady as an accomplice.
 7.1/10
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He Heard She Heard
Michael's Garden
Episode 6 - 10-24-2001
21m
Michael has problems in the bathroom and needs to have a colonoscopy; he has a dream that his doctor is singer Lou Rawls. Lou Rawls guest stars in an episode that takes a lighthearted but informative look at a serious problem: colon cancer. It's especially acute among African-Americans over 40 - and guess who's 40?
 7.6/10
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Michaels Garden
Thru Thick and Thin
Episode 5 - 10-17-2001
22m
When Jay returns, Michael remains silent about her obvious weight gain. The episode builds to a dream sequence, in which Janet has a nightmare and the entire family is morbidly obese after Michael decides to grow big with her.
 6.7/10
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Thru Thick and Thin
Perfect Dad
Episode 4 - 10-10-2001
21m
Fed up with Michael's parenting style, the children confront their father with a description of the ideal dad.
 7.2/10
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Perfect Dad
No Rules
Episode 3 - 10-03-2001
22m
Michael decides to let the kids live a rule-free life, but on the condition that they do everything for themselves; including cooking and paying for their own phone calls.
 7.7/10
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No Rules
Mom's Away (2)
Episode 2 - 9-26-2001
22m
Jay visits her mom while Michael starts telling Kady the "story" of her birth. Meanwhile Claire's friend Charmaine is pregnant.
 7.1/10
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Moms Away 2
Mom's Away (1)
Episode 1 - 9-26-2001
22m
Michael contends with multiple problems, including a positive pregnancy test, a sad six-year-old and Jr's basketball troubles.
 7.3/10
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Moms Away 1
Season1
Season 1  
7.1
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Episode 11 - 5-09-2001
22m
Michael's accountant dies suddenly, making him take a whole new perspective about his life. He buys a wig (or a hairpiece as he likes to call it) and starts to demonstrate his love for his family in a weird way. He even buys a motorcycle and an RV, in a misguided effort to live life to its fullest.
 6.9/10
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Hair Today Gone Tomorrow
A Little Romance
Episode 10 - 5-02-2001
22m
Michael's promiscuous brother Ken (Keenen Ivory Wayans) comes to visit with his attractive new girlfriend, Tiara, who contrasts with the way Michael has just realized Jay appears.
 7.2/10
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A Little Romance
Breaking Up and Breaking It
Episode 9 - 4-25-2001
22m
Michael tries to get Claire away from her new boyfriend by befriending him, but things get touchy when she dumps him. Jr. overdoes it in the bathroom.
 7.3/10
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Breaking Up and Breaking It
He Said, She Said
Episode 8 - 4-18-2001
22m
When Jay asks Michael to spend less time watching TV and more time with the family, they both learn that their biggest problem is communication.
 6.9/10
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He Said She Said
Snapping and Sniffing
Episode 7 - 4-18-2001
22m
Jr. is having problems at school with a bully, so Michael and Jay invite his parents over to discover some of the kid's weak points. Jr. teases the kid back and Claire punches him in the nose making Jr. feel humiliated. Meanwhile, Michael tells Jay she is not around enough, and she starts to realize that when she misses Kady's first tooth and her new "smell the cushions" thing.
 7/10
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Snapping and Sniffing
Working It
Episode 6 - 4-11-2001
22m
Michael hires an attractive girl to tutor Junior in math and later regrets his actions. Also, Jay doesn't like the direction her relationship is going with Claire, who is turning into a typical teenager.
 7.1/10
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Working It
Making the Grade
Episode 5 - 4-11-2001
22m
Junior fakes an A in algebra while his family, not fooled by the charade, fakes a celebration. Meanwhile, Claire blackmails Junior because she had caught him red-handed forging his report card.
 7.3/10
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Making the Grade
Of Breasts and Basketball
Episode 4 - 4-04-2001
22m
Michael doesn't take it well when he loses to his teenage son at basketball. Meanwhile, Claire thinks the best way to attract boys is to have bigger breasts, so she buys a padded bra, much to the dislike of Jay who punishes her for doing so.
 7.1/10
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Of Breasts and Basketball
Grassy Knoll
Episode 3 - 4-04-2001
22m
Jay is trying to get rid of some old clothes, so after Michael opposes to that she and him make a deal that everything that is not worn by the end of the week has to go. Meanwhile, Junior is trying to learn how to play the guitar and his friend convinces him to smoke pot. Kady gets angry at Claire for avoiding her.
 7.3/10
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Grassy Knoll
The Truth Hurts
Episode 2 - 3-28-2001
21m
Michael suspects the family is less than truthful about certain matters. Junior gets some tattoos; Michael annoys Kady.
 7.2/10
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The Truth Hurts
Pilot
Episode 1 - 3-28-2001
22m
Michael and Jay are a loving and married couple who have three children: Junior, who wants to go to a concert to see MC Murder Death; Claire, who wants some privacy in her life; and little Kady, the cutest child in the house.
 7/10
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Pilot
Top 5 Episodes
Top 5 Highest Rated Episodes
The Maid
Episode 26 - 5-05-2004
22m
While Jay is away at a seminar, Michael hires a maid, Mrs. Hopkins, to look after the family. Mrs. Hopkins fulfills their every need and want to a sweet perfection, including homemade ice cream, an immaculately clean house and handmade outfits for Claire. When Jay comes home, she appreciates Mrs. Hopkins' attention to every detail, but begins to feel that perhaps she has taken over just a bit too much.
 8.1/10
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The Maid
Michael Joins a Gym
Episode 19 - 3-15-2005
22m
The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.
 8.1/10
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Michael Joins a Gym
Table for Too Many (2)
Episode 17 - 2-06-2002
22m
The family goes out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. Once there, the Kyles must share a table with an incredibly annoying family, the Tylers. Michael feels like he's being ripped off at every turn; things get out of control between the two families and even the restaurant employees. The two families have been enemies ever since.
 7.8/10
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Table for Too Many 2
No Rules
Episode 3 - 10-03-2001
22m
Michael decides to let the kids live a rule-free life, but on the condition that they do everything for themselves; including cooking and paying for their own phone calls.
 7.7/10
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No Rules
Michael's Garden
Episode 6 - 10-24-2001
21m
Michael has problems in the bathroom and needs to have a colonoscopy; he has a dream that his doctor is singer Lou Rawls. Lou Rawls guest stars in an episode that takes a lighthearted but informative look at a serious problem: colon cancer. It's especially acute among African-Americans over 40 - and guess who's 40?
 7.6/10
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Michaels Garden
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