High Spirits with Shirley Ghostman

Shirley tells the audience he is cooking on gas in tonight's show. Shirley visits Vauxhall City Farm and talks to the animals. He tells the farm owner that his animals are cracking jokes to one another and that one of the horses wants to visit Brazil. At Spirit Academy the final four contestants have to fight for a place in next weeks final. Shirley challenges the contestant's abilities to channel spirits on mass. Kininla is voted out of Spirit Academy. Shirley is drawn to two members of the audience, a young man and an older lady. The spirits tell Shirley they're a couple and are having problems in the relationship. After some words of advice from Shirley, the young man tells Shirley they don't know one another. Shirley changes tack and says the spirits are telling him they shouldn't be a couple anyway as they are not suited. Shirley's apprentice Ian Jackson (Marc playing another character) meets Bernard Ilsley, an Extra – Terrestrial Medium. Bernard channels an alien so Ian can ask s

Shirley shows the audience a drawing of Sheba which a viewer has sent in. Shirley points out that nowhere in the show's title is Sheba's name mentioned. He stresses the show is not a double act and sets fire to the drawing with a lighter. Shirley announces that Sheba won't be joining Shirley on the spirit side. He was forced to send the Alsatian away as she bit a baby's face off in heaven. Shirley touches objects given to him from people and gets a psychic impression of the history of the object. At Spirit Academy Shirley has detected an evil spirit. He channels it and it's revealed the spirit killed his victims by defecating in their mouths. Shirley takes the contestants on a ghost hunt around the grounds to set the spirit free. Chrissy is booted out of Spirit Academy as the eliminations continue. Shirley's psychic abilities are fading fast without Sheba's help and he shouts at a member of the audience. The Paranormalists: Shirley's lager swigging apprentice Colin Reynolds, (Marc play

The BBC forces Shirley to apologise on TV to Mrs Oxley. Shirley gave Mrs Oxley a reading and she complained that he'd stolen words from the obituary of a newspaper and used them in the reading. Shirley offers career advice to several people and informs them what he sees of their future occupations. Kininla, Chrissy, Erol, Stella, Kim, Joel, Sylvia and Maria are the unlucky eight to win a place at Spirit Academy. The contestants learn they only have a blanket or mattress to sleep on and only get their dinner if they can predict what it is using their psychic abilities. The Paranormalists: Shirley's Dictaphone wielding apprentice Alf Szczurek (Marc playing another character) is an exorcist and offers his services to householder Louise and her half painted home. After much ghost hunting and sexual talk down his Dictaphone, Alf traps Louise's troublesome ghost in a jam jar. C is for Cat as another letter of the psychic A – Z is revealed. Shirley invites two members of the audience onto the

Shirley visits the vets and informs several pet owners what their animal's grievances are. It's the first heat of Spirit Academy. Ripping off the Pop Idol auditions format, Shirley searches for the UK's next psychic superstar. The Paranormalists: Shirley's apprentice Ian Jackson (Marc playing another character) learns about Rumpology - the ability to predict the future whilst looking at someone's bum. The other side of Shirley Ghostman: A short and rare insight into the personal life of the psychic. Whilst having a manicure Shirley explains how he became a medium and how Sheba became his spirit guide. He also advises a woman not to let her friends marry as he senses a lot of negativity. Shirley channels Princess Diana. She reveals her feelings on her death and the people she left behind when she passed on. A is for afterlife as we learn about the psychic A - Z. Shirley finishes his first show by singing a song by Roy Orbison who channelled it through him the previous week. It's entitle