CinemaSerf

0/10

Anyone remember the "Tales of the Unexpected" series? Well this reminded me from start to rather feeble finish of one of those episodes. It's a pretty straight rehash of the established story that sees "Mina" (Hannaj Bang Bendz) turn up at the remarkably accessible Castle Dracula to try and find her missing husband "Jonathan" (Dean Marshall). Luckily, en route she's allied with "Prof. Van Helsing" (Mark Topping) so when they are admitted to this den of evil blood-suckers, they are armed with four silver bullets - enough for the Count and his three blonde wives who look like they've just finished devouring a rather messy cheeseburger. There's almost nothing here of interest. There are no special effects to appreciate or decry, the photography and writing are the stuff of a decently funded college project and the denouement offers a sense of relief for all concerned - indeed I'm not quite sure why the overly hammy Sean Cronin didn't volunteer for his predictably grisly fate half an hour earlier in this procedural and dull interpretation of a normally dark and menacing story. Not ninety minutes you will ever get back, so I wouldn't bother, sorry.