This is really well directed, there’s some great filmmaking in it, and the action in particular is very well shot and framed.
Also, the acting and score are pretty solid for the most part.
But, ultimately it’s all in service of a film with uninteresting and flat characters, and a story that’s nothing more than a bunch of clichés strung together when you start to break it down.
It’s very light on interesting themes, subtext, emotion, creativity, twists, or other stuff I tend to value in movies.
It’s like watching _Hamlet_ or _The Lion King_ boiled down to their most basic plot elements, and without any of the Hakuna Matata.
Sure, there’s one big twist that’s revealed as the film goes along, but at that point you’re well into the second act, and taking out that twist wouldn’t change the story all that much.
It tries to cover up for its lack of substance with the occasional arthouse touches here and there, but most of it falls flat on its face, as it clashes with the grim and gritty tone of the film, and gets overly indulgent and pretentious.
For example, there’s a scene where a character has to retrieve a sword, a really simple beat the film needs to hit.
However, the way Robert Eggers presents it is fucking eye-rolling, as it’s such a misguided attempt at trying to be clever and interesting.
You’re making a straightforward revenge film here, it’s a story with no more complexity than your average Marvel movie, so having the feeling of being looked down upon by the filmmaker is just about the last thing I should feel when watching it.
Overall, I found it to be annoying and too slow given what little it has to offer.
Yet, you have to give it at least some credit for how well made it is.

4.5/10

Also, I know that there are a lot of people going into this expecting it to scratch the same itch as _Game of Thrones_ or _Vikings_.
You’re going to come out disappointed if you expect that, this is more akin to something like _The Revenant_.