Well let's start with a round of applause to the Netflix marketing department. In a world of superhero multiverses and sub-standard Netflix big tent flicks, they've pulled off quite the coup... They've told everyone that the film will be SO bad that they have engineered probably the most watched film of the year on their service... And what will people say 'that was much better than I thought it was going to be. I'll happily rate that a 7 or 7. 5 out of 10'. Not 'this was awful, I'll only rate that a 7 or 7.5 out of 10'.

Applause and a pat on the back for a clever coup. Bravo, Netflix. Bravo.

So let's review it like any other film...

Plot? Quite predictable. Usual action spy fare. Like a long arc in a series of Nikita but it isn't offensive. Enough happening plot-wise for a series of setpieces to be hung on.

Direction? Feels a bit like Boss Level in that there's a glibness to the whole thing. Lots of silly little drone shots and fast edits, coupled with entirely unrevealing but smart-mouthed wisecracks. In short, it matches the ADHD nature of most of its sub-25 year old viewers.

Cinematography? Falls foul of that horrendous HDR 60fps way of shooting that Netflix loves but it makes everything look like a soap opera. Go back to shooting 23fps and reduce the CGI in post to match. Please.

Performances?
- Gosling is fine. Gotta feel for the guy right? He spends months getting jacked and ripped, puts in a fine performance. And the film gets destroyed by critics in a reverse marketing campaign where it makes it impossible for him to come out of it with any kudos. But I'm sure he's got a 8 figure bank transfer to show for this.
- Evans doesn't work. It's like he's channeling Timothy Dalton in Hot Fuzz and it doesn't sit right. Interesting to see him off the juice and Gosling on it to see how the reality of acting is now akin to a Men's Fitness cover shoot.
- Armas. Give her a full blooded action film already. She owns her scenes here and she did the same in No Time To Die. I'm seeing some sort of Cynthia Rothrock-style trilogy with her in the near future. Joking - she can have whatever crap they have lined up for Charlize Theron to be in and she will make it reach its full potential.
- the young dude out of Bridgerton... Terrible acting. Overwrought, unconvincing, transparent. And I bet they'll make him the next Bond. Let this be a lesson... He's not up to the task.
- Iron Fist's girlfriend. Does okay. Nothing much to work with and she out acts the Bridgerton guy without breaking a sweat. Again, Barbara Brocolli... Think before you do something stupid.

Verdict? It's a perfectly fine bog standard spy thriller that falls victim to a few of the tropes of the time. 100 locations, fast edits, AI-written script, couple of dodgy casting choices.

Is it the absolute abysmal wreck they said it was? Not at all. Is it Top Gun Maverick? Hell no.


7/10