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User Reviews for: The Beast Within

$hubes
2/10  5 months ago
This was hilariously bad. I vaguely recall watching this back in the mid-80's with a friend of mine after work one evening but I couldn't have told you squat about this, that's how memorable it was. Watching it now, it's memorable: memorably awful. At one point in the film, I told my wife, _"This has to be some of the hokiest acting I've ever seen."_ It was completely terrible...and a lot of fun to laugh at. Like others have pointed out, the story was so unbelievably stupid and FULL of idiotic scenes that you (well, I did, anyway) had to wonder, _"Were they seriously making a horror film when they did this? Or was this a spoof?"_ It was that bad. Newlyweds run off the road, get stuck in mud, new groom leaves his newlywed bride alone, in the dark woods, to walk back to a service station how many miles back down the road... Creepy guy raves to his new-found, _"How do you do? I just walked into your house uninvited and now I'm your new boyfriend"_ girl, _"You have to leave RIGHT NOW!!!!!"_ and cowers in a closet making strange babbling sounds, and yet she stands there staring at him until his hands are around her throat...at which point, she still manages to get a blood-curdling scream out, in spite of her wind being cut off...deranged mutant kid is mutating in front of their eyes into some "thing" while they hold shotguns and pistols, yet they're too transfixed to do anything except stand and stare for a good 5-10 minutes until the mutation is completed... Yeah, stuff like that. It really was that terrible...and terribly funny. Do NOT watch this as a "horror" film: You will be sorely disappointed and probably angry (you have to be angry at yourself, though, because I'm giving you plenty of warning now) for wasting your time; however, if you go into this wanting a really funny and stupidly enjoyable B-movie that's full of Ronny Cox... (oh yeah, Ronny Cox even sang the country-and-western songs used in the soundtrack! This was definitely _The Ronny Cox Show_ film.), hick actors, and an ending that's even more horrid than the rest of the film, sit back, grab a cold drink, some hot theater popcorn and enjoy this one. It's hilariously bad.
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