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User Reviews for: Southland Tales

dogg724
2/10  7 years ago
Holy fuck is this an amazingly terrible movie. I honestly couldn't say much more than the booing audiences and professional reviewers when it came out. Even trying to watch it at twice the speed the "plot" drags unbearably. I don't know what's going on, I don't want to know, it's not going to go anywhere, and I'm writing this with 20 (45) minutes left because I need something to do in between the long nothing shots meandering about the room or driving around. Just wow. This is what you study when you're terrified of making a terrible movie. When something you write or shoot gives you the sickening dread that this conjures, throw it away and start over. If you think "I'm just too deep and complicated, BUT I HAVE TO TRY!" Chug half a bottle of Nyquil, go to sleep, and try to dream of all the other ways to express yourself that don't ride on the thought that it should manifest in movie form. I wonder if I have a secret desire to hurt or punish myself for something in watching this at the mere suggestion from an unstable person that, "It has a particular relevance in our current political climate." Yes, 9/11 was a shit show, the aftermath a compounding disaster, and let no future scavenger or historian believe Trump is anything but a sign of an End Times-adjacent saga, but holy shit, you're allowed to take a breath and beat and try to talk about it in a way anyone but you might understand. This hurts. Notice how I've refrained from spending millions of dollars and turning the camera on myself to let you know my pain.
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