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User Reviews for: Neon Maniacs

Bronson87
2/10  2 years ago
One of the worst movies I have ever seen, and that is not said lightly by me. Imagine if _The Hills Have Eyes_, and _Nightbreed_ had a baby and dropped it in the toilet; that's _Neon Maniacs_.
This is not even a movie, it's a long second act. We are just dropped into a situation with "teens" being killed by mutants... all with unrelated concepts (e.g., a samurai, a doctor, a biker), like a poorly thought out Village People.
The Maniacs are never given a backstory, we get nothing about their mythology - at most, a bum finds a book with posed pictures of the Maniacs (why would that happen? anyone?), and a character mentions that they live in the Golden Gate bridge, and only come out at night. How did she know this? It's never established.
The Maniacs are never given any motivation, they just simply want to kill. Although, they seem to be stalking our lead, Natalie, for some reason - it's never said, but it is implied to be because she is a virgin.
We later find out that the Maniacs can be killed with water. We learn this when the "young" Paula - who sleeps with the expectation of a vampire attack - fights off a Maniac, using water.
Every part of this production is horrible, from the editing, to the acting, and directing, but the worst part is the writing. It doesn't help that there is no first act, but the characters are written as complete idiots. Like, I can understand characters making mistakes or not understanding the full scope of what they are up against, but that ship sails early on. Specifically, I am talking about the big showdown - during a battle of the bands, which seemed like a poor excuse to showcase some bad '80s music - where our trio of braindead heroes plan to arm the crowd with squirt guns, and allow the Maniacs to just infiltrate the location. Surely the crowd is informed of the impending threat and knows to defend themselves with water, right? No? Then they're just going to panic, run, and die. I think that makes our heroes accomplices in their murder. Furthermore, the concertgoers are all dressed in costume... which means they won't think it's strange when mutants show up dressed for Halloween. Amidst the chaos of the best plan ever though up by a movie character in the history of writing, our leads, Steven, and Natalie, decide to bang - because being pursued by homicidal demons who have killed people in the building where you're trapped is super hot.
So, the cops show up and take our trio downtown, where they are questioned, but the chief acts like it's a big joke. Why did the police not search the school right away? Why was our trio the only ones questioned? Were there no other survivors? Either way, many people were murdered. Wild story or not, people are dead. So, the cops go back to the school, with one firetruck, and out trio - because you often bring victims (or even suspects) back to the scene of the crime, much later, to investigate. Also, when I say the cops, I mean, like, ten - not the full force in riot gear or the National Guard, because what's the big deal, am I right?
Then the movie just ends. I've never seen a movie that felt so incomplete. I feel really bad for the actors involved here, because some of them did a good job.
What's funny is if you watch the trailer for this turd, each Maniac is given a name - which the movie never states - ergo, the trailer builds more of a mythology than the movie itself.
I can see how this movie would have worked as a low-budget horror or comedy if it were in the hands of Troma or Full Moon, but instead we got this total waste of time.
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