“- Doreen: Kids, where's your father?
- Wally's daughter : He's upstairs masturbating to gay porn.
- Doreen: Again?”


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“- Wally Terzinsky: Doctor, why do those types keep thinking that I'm one of them?- Psychiatrist: Well, Wally, because you are one of them. You are gay. You are gay. You are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay. I know it. Your family knows it. Dogs know it! Everyone seems to know it except you.”


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“- Doreen: Were the handcuffs totally necessary, officer?- Cop #1: Well, actually, that was your husband's idea.”


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“- Worm pill scientist: I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.- Don Roritor: Uh, right, and what's positive about that?- Worm pill scientist: Well, it's a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.”


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Quotes from moviequotes.com
LOL
"Where;s your father?"