The tone of this was WILD to experience. I had never seen this movie before now, but I had seen a few comments saying this was a typical "gay movie made for a straight audiences" and now having seen it I 100% agree. I think coming out later in life might be a more common experience for lesbians (comp het is a hell of a thing, speaking from personal experience lol) and while I'm sure there are plenty of gay men who come out as adults, it doesn't appear to me to be quite as common. Howard isn't just suppressing his sexuality, he seems to be entirely unaware of it. I'm sorry, this movie wants us to believe that this man spent his teens and young adulthood in the 80s and 90s, forced his friends to sit through marathons of Barbara Streisand movies, dressed in bow ties, and had a three year relationship with a woman which never got physical, and not a single person, including himself, questioned his sexuality? I have a hard time buying that.
It wasn't as outright offensive as some queer movies, but it leaves a lot to be desired. I guess for 1997 it could have been worse.