Hard Target(1993)

drqshadow

3/10

Jean-Claude Van Damme and John Woo (in his North American debut) adapt _The Most Dangerous Game_ into a slick, brainless gunplay / martial arts movie. In a technical sense, their partnership is a success, retaining crucial elements of each creator’s distinctive cinematic fingerprint. Woo’s characteristic blend of soft, lingering peace and loud, abrupt action is still evident, as is JCVD’s penchant for flexible high kicks (always in slow-motion), badass squints and excessive instant replays. We spend a lot of time admiring the many forms of weaponry, from handguns and crossbows to biceps and rocket launchers, relishing the play of light on their various contours and savoring each burst and explosion. That’s Woo gazing into his navel, no doubt about it, but at least his enthusiasm translates to something beautiful. Brutally violent and far over the top, sure, but beautiful. As far as the story goes, well, it’s confidently stupid. Aggressively, unapologetically, relentlessly stupid. Between the villains’ total lack of discretion and the hand-wavy “oh, he’s Cajun” excuse for Van Damme’s thick accent, we encounter something baffling or nonsensical, roughly, every three minutes. There’s barely enough plot to get us from one huge, stylish ammo dump to the next, which is really the only reason it’s there at all. Everyone takes pointless risks, whether it’s the secretive bad guys’ willingness to pump a homeless dude full of lead right in the middle of Bourbon Street or the hero’s bewildering decision to drag his innocent charge along for the climactic showdown in a burning warehouse. The famous rattlesnake-punching clip might be _Hard Target_’s lasting legacy (what a great meme) but that’s far from its worst offense. That it took so many cuts to avoid an NC-17 rating should say everything about this film’s intentions. It’s a bullet ballet, pure and simple; a direct continuation of Woo’s Hong Kong work with slightly better production values, a higher capacity for bloodshed and a significantly reduced plot. The director’s admiration for projectile sponges hasn’t changed - it takes a full clip to put anybody down - but now he has JCVD finish them off with a spinning head kick after the chamber’s empty. I can’t say it isn’t entertaining, but I refuse to say it’s any good.

$hubes

4/10

When it comes to "action" movies, you really need to master the art of disengaging your brain and shutting down all sense of logic and reason…and I feel like I've come close to doing that. Every once in awhile, though, a movie comes along that - as much as I want to like it - it **_really_** challenges that ability. _Hard Target_ was one such movie. Although I've never been a fan of his acting ability, like most guys back in the day, I was a fan of Jean Claude van Damme movies. I must have missed this one back then, though, because I don't recall ever seeing it…and watching it tonight was just...in some ways difficult, in other ways almost laughable. If I didn't know better, I would suspect this of being a satire of all the JCVD movies. The sad truth, however, is that it's NOT a satire; it's an action movie that you're expected to watch with jaw-dropping incredulity at how badass this dude really is. There was plenty of action from the get-go, and even a few van Damme martial arts moves thrown in for good measure, but overall, this was just way too ridiculous even for those who really **can** disengage their brain for an hour and a half. Good cast but a really tired storyline (same ol' _The Most Dangerous Game_ story; been there, done that...) that this movie does nothing different with. Sadly, though, Wilford Brimley (RIP) did a bang-up job as "Doc" in the 1982 remake of _The Thing_ but here he just flat-out sucked trying to be a cajun moonshiner down in the bayous of Lousiana. Painful to watch. While I was pleasantly surprised at the notable cast here, they failed to pull this one off. I couldn't really recommend this to anyone unless you're just willing to laugh it off. Granted, there's plenty of action but it's not enough to make this stinkpot tolerable.