Beginning: Very Stephen King. Very pastiche Stephen King. Very rip off Stephen King. Very parodical Stephen King. So much a Stephen King filmatiztion it could be a film school template of how to movie Stephen King.

Middle: Oh no. This is bad. This is really bad. Oh, they managed to make it worse. Oh, then managed to make it even worse again! And again! Surely this is a weird meta parody of some sort?

End: No spoilers. Honestly, I don't know. Half way through I couldn't take it any more and started slipping. Then my player fucked up and stopped playback. And I agreed.

Conclusion: This is a movie that is so bad that I can't obviously enjoy it as a good movie, nor as a bad movie, not as a meh movie, as a terrible movie, as a stupid grindhouse flick, as a meta experience, as weird trip, as a visit into a broken mind, as a grandiose failure - nor in any other imaginable way that makes our it worth two hours of my one and only life. It's very rare I give a movie a one star rating, but this is it. This is a such genuine disaster of entertainment that I'm doubting myself that I'm actually missing something vital.