When I impulsively added this seemingly obscure trucker film to my watchlist,\* I had no idea it would turn out to touch on the civil issues of today's America. In the era of #DefundThePolice, this blast from the past seems a pointed commentary on the same police issues—overuse of force, abuse of power—still facing us over 40 years later.

Unfortunately I wouldn't call the script or its execution "stellar", but _Convoy_ worked hard to earn my 5/10 rating by weaving the C. W. McCall song in through editing and managing a few good tugs of the ol' heartstrings. Without those regularly spaced positives, I think the level of flat caricature on display deserved considerably less.

A good villain is relatable, but Lyle "Cottonmouth" Wallace is merely a figurative goateed cardboard cutout, "evil" for one reason only: The story demands an antagonist. We don't know why he hates Duck.

Similarly, a good hero has flaws, but Martin "Rubber Duck" Penwald stands on a golden pedestal, a quintessential "hero". Why is he the hero? Because the story demands a protagonist. He always does the right thing, and never makes a single mistake. (This is debatable, I suppose, but so is my entire thesis here.) Duck is "perfectly rebellious in every way", to paraphrase Mary Poppins.

The side characters, too, are painted with only the broadest of strokes. Melissa, "Pig Pen"/"Love Machine", "Widow", "Spider Mike"… every one is a flat stereotype (or archetype) with no nuance. The romantic chemistry between Duck and either of the _two_ women he gets (more "quintessential hero" material here) is just not there. It's even less believable than Sam Malone with Diane Chambers (_Cheers_), or even Chakotay with Seven of Nine (_Star Trek: Voyager_).

The nearly one-dimensional characters and shoestring storyline _might_ be (somewhat) forgivable if the production values had been better. But it would be hard _not_ to improve on the sloppy dialogue replacements, awkward editing, and awful fake-slow-motion stunt shots.

It was a good concept. It should have been better. _Convoy_ really could have used another script rewrite (or two), and… I'd say "a bigger budget", but surely $12 million should have been enough for action shots that don't play back at half speed?

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\* — Bo Time Gaming on YouTube mentioned the film a couple times during one _War Thunder_ match, and references to the song are peppered through the TBLF squad's tank battles when they all roll down streets together. I generally appreciate Bo's sense of humor and taste in media references, so giving _Convoy_ a watch seemed like a good idea. It didn't sound all that different from _Smokey and the Bandit_—which I hoped this would match for entertainment value.