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User Reviews for: Baron Blood

Bronson87
2/10  one year ago
This is absolutely terrible. No exaggeration, one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
But what was so bad about it? I can't stress enough, everything! Every moment of this movie was bad: the camera work, the acting, the story. At no point was this entertaining.
Within this complete failure, one aspect stands out as the worst part: Eva. I can't think of another character I have seen who was so stupid and annoying as her. Have you ever watched a horror movie and there was someone who you wanted to die immediately? Yeah, that's Eva.
Okay, just so you can know I watched _Baron Blood_, and I'm not just leaving a negative review for fun: there is a scene where Eva throws a tapestry over a railing, and then - there's really no other way to put this - she has an orgasm. It is never explained. It never comes up again. It just happens. Moving on.
There is simply no story here. Even saying there is a first act is being far too generous than I will grant. This is a long second act. There is no set up, no pay off. Nothing happens.
I have to talk about the camera work. It's like the cinematographer thought zooms, pans, and lingering shots would save the movie.
Given the title, the poster, and the era, I thought this was going to be a creepy sleaze fest, but there is no gore, no nudity, no atmosphere.
This is on par with the worst Jess Franco films, but at least he knew that a piece of crap can be polished if you have enough sex in it.
Do not watch this.
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