Acoucalancha

8/10

>*"Yeah, that's right... I'm bad!"* Still holds up well and still the best spider movie we have. What sets it apart is it uses real spiders and not CGI and the amount of nightmare fuel sequences we get of spiders creeping up on people. It's all very plausible sequences too (until the third act at least) so because of it i've been looking in toilets, popcorn bowls and shower ceilings ever sinse I saw it a couple years ago. The house set is perfect for this and that barn with spider webs everywhere and spider eggs is my worst nightmare. The worst thing is that nobody notices the infestation slowly creeping in and the spiders keep reproducing and when you finally realize it, they're everywhere and it's too late. The third act is wild, so comedic and totally unrealistic but I have a theory: because our main character is terrified of spiders I think his mind is playing tricks on him, when we're afraid of something we tend to exaggerate the events happening before us. Maybe the spider wasn't that big. It's also a perfect demonstration of how we'll litterally [spoiler]burn the house down[/spoiler] to find a tiny intruder. I lived that third act when I had a centipede in my home a few years ago.

$hubes

4/10

It is rare when a horror movie blends with comedy... and it doesn't here. The film can't decide if it's supposed to be terrifying or hilarious, and it winds up failing in both areas. With my true-to-life arachnophobia, I admit to getting the creeps every time a spider crawled across the screen (and especially when they crawled onto someone's body part), so the formula was there to give me a real scare, but the stupidity of everything else - the parts that were supposed to be "comedy" - were just so silly and overexaggerated that it subtracted from the entire feel of the movie and what I wound up with was a spider movie that was neither scary nor funny, terrifying or lighthearted: it was just plain DUMB. Poor Jeff Daniels... I've enjoyed him in other films but here, his character was just so ridiculous that you couldn't take him serious as a "doctor" of ANY sort. The acting was either awful or hyper-exaggerated (as in the case of "Delbert", played by John Goodman) just adding to the whole frustration and sense of wasting an hour-and-a-half of my time. There really was nothing to enjoy about this, as even the "spiders" (due to this being pre-CGI) seemed cheap. And the climax of the movie (not the closing scenes but the end of the whole spider thing) was so confusing that, again, it detracted from the whole experience of the movie; I was left wondering what was what. (Was there a "queen"? Was there a "granddaddy"? What happened when the egg sac started 'hatching', etc etc.) Lot of confusing parts there towards the end, adding only to the sense that this just wasn't a good movie: it was neither funny nor scary. Because I really do suffer from arachnophobia, I usually (strange as this seems) enjoy a good "spider movie" because they usually give me the creepy crawlies. This one, unfortunately, did nothing except waste a lot of my time that could have been spent elsewhere. Didn't enjoy this one at all and have no plans to EVER watch it again. Waste. Of. Time.

John Chard

0/10

The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the water spout; down came the rain and washed the spider out. When a photographer is bitten and killed by a spider in the Venezuelan jungle, his body is shipped back to his home town of Canaima in California. Unfortunately something has hitched a ride in his coffin... Mixing "B" movie conventions with a modern day fun sensibility, Arachnophobia sees Frank Marshall direct and Jeff Daniels, Julian Sands, John Goodman and Harley Jane Kozak line up in the cast. Though horror and comedy on the surface doesn't seem to be a that hard to blend together, it's actually surprising over the years just how few horror comedy movies can claim to be successful, and crucially, have been able to to win over a like minded audience. In fact, if we move away from the likes of "Sean Of The Dead", the "B" movie creature feature, especially in modern times, has few offerings of worth. We can certainly mention the awesome (and best of the modern bunch) "Tremors", which turned a small Worldwide profit, and then we turn to "Lake Placid" and "Arachnophobia". Both of the latter made considerable amounts of cash (for the genre) and are propelled by a degree of star wattage. What was in Arachnophobia's favour was that spiders strike the fear of god into many people, thus, as director Marshall said himself on the publicity junket, "People like to be scared but still laughing at the same time". Arachnophobia achieves this in spades, mixing real spiders (the Avondale breed) with model and magnet work, where the effect achieved is full on nervy giggles coupled with some creepy goose flesh also putting in an appearance. The cast work hard to make it work. OK, Sands remains as wooden as he always is, but in this case his pompous bug professor actually calls for it. Daniels as the modern doctor hoping to start a new life in the country, is an excellent lead, a fine actor who's no show on the "A" list of Hollywood remains an utter mystery. However, it's with the big jolly blunderbuss that is John Goodman where the pic gets its frothy "B" movie fun. His inept, half witted but knowing pest controller, Delbert, engages in that small town Americana way. He is an innocent to the terrors of the world and that makes for a nice play off with the Arachnophobic Dr. Ross Jennings (Daniels). Nicely shot around Cambria, California, to fully realise the small town under arachnid siege, Arachnaphobia is the perfect comedy creeper for all the family to enjoy. So squirm and giggle together and watch out for any creepy crawlies in the corners of your home... 7/10