ai yi yi yi yi.... There are times (granted, they're becoming fewer and farther between as I get older) that I just absolutely _love_ a good ol' cheesy Italian horror/slasher/gory flesh-eating film and this one was **supposed** to fill the bill; after all, it _was_ listed on the "Video Nasties" that were banned in the UK...but the only reason I can see for this smelly pile of carp being "banned" is because of how atrocious it actually was. I'm not referring to the gore, either.

From the beginning, you're stuck wondering why this German couple strolling along the beach sound like they're having their conversation in a wind tunnel. The voice-overs (I didn't look it up but it seems pretty obvious that the film's English dubs were done post-production in a very cheap studio.) from beginning to end are terrible and, regardless of where the characters are in a particular scene, sound like they're talking in an echo chamber. It was bad enough wondering about it with the opening scene on a beach, but then you have this same bad echo on the boat, in the forest, inside the rooms in the different villas, on a grand staircase inside the mansion....EVERYWHERE. Also, from the very beginning of the film, you have to plod through some of the worst acting ever seen on-screen (I mean, this makes even the WWE look good!), the worst dialogues, the most unimaginative storyline ever... and then after almost a full hour of that (and keep in mind, this is only a 90-minute movie), you **FINALLY** get your first full-on view of the "monster"...or beast, or man, or cannibal, or whatever he's supposed to be. I mean, the "backstory" (hint: there isn't one) gives you absolutely no hint, clue, or otherwise what it is you're supposed to be nervous about, so you get this shot of a guy hiding behind a door (that's right, ladies and germs: he's actually standing behind a door and gets revealed when the would-be "hero" pulls the door shut to lock in the damsel-in-distress... Yes, it's that bad.) Again, with no backstory whatsoever, you have no idea who this person is and/or why he's dangerous. [spoiler]There's also no explanation for why he suddenly takes a big bite out of Danny's neck.[/spoiler]

Along with the wooden acting, lack of storyline, horrible dialogue, this film has incredibly poor lighting; there's one scene (the aforementioned scene) where the...bad guy (for lack of a more accurate description) approaches one of his victims; whether it was intentional or not we don't know, but for some reason, the bad guy turns, his face is completely illuminated and visible, then the next, he's shuffling through the dark toward his victim with only his long legs (clad in fashionable blue jeans, mind you; this is a well-dressed monster we're dealing with here) showing and his face concealed by the pitch black room. Of course, that same pitch black room is illuminated mere moments later with a flash of lightning, just as Monster Man descends on his hapless victim. Cripes, I can't even say _"At least the soundtrack was good..."_ for this film because honestly, the soundtrack sucked as much as everything else about this stinkpot. Just cheesy, bad organ music (for the scary parts) or cheesy, light springtime music (for the not scary parts). To lighten the mood, however, the producers decide to lob a fake bat (or maybe just a crumpled wad of duct tape; hard to tell which) at the protagonist right around the 1:07:24 mark and throw in a high-pitched "squeak" for grins, to make it seem like the poor sap is being horribly frightened just moments after lighting a torch. I guess that was meant to be a "jump scare" (not a lot of 'em in this film...yet) but that actually brought a nearly-audible eyeroll instead of a jump.

There are probably several reasons why - back in the late '70s especially - this movie was banned but compared to movies today such as _Saw_ , the entire _Hostel_ franchise, and others, this was not just "tame" but actually laughable. The one scene I thought was completely tasteless was the "baby" scene. (It wasn't "gross" but more in just very very bad taste and really added nothing to the story.) If you want to avoid an hour-and-a-half of absolutely horrible movie, click here to see what I'm talking about: [spoiler]In one scene that's as close to a flashback as you'll get here, the villain/beast/monster/cannibal thing/guy is told by an impending victim, _"Leave her [the victim's pregnant wife] alone; she's pregnant! Don't you see? She's having our baby!"_ Whereupon the monster man starts recalling images of his own wife and son; he then proceeds to kill the young husband, and strangle the young, expectant mother, then supposedly rips the fetus from her womb and starts eating it. Like I said, it wasn't gory at all; just him biting a chunk of pink glop that bore absolutely NO resemblance to a fetus. But the whole scene was just in very poor taste.[/spoiler]

Wow, this movie sucks....